A “Cougar Cinematic Universe” ?

So many older woman/younger man movies right now. Finally!

Oct 19, 2024

The morning sun when it's in your face
Really shows your age
But that don't worry me none, in my eyes you're everything-Maggie May, Rod Stewart

I think I was around 12 years old when I first heard Rod Stewart's song "Maggie May." Readers of a certain age may remember the mail-order record clubs of the 70s, where you could buy 12 records for $1. The catch was you had to purchase additional records at full price. They would send an order slip in the mail with a list of current albums, and you had to respond each month, or else they would automatically send the "album of the month" and charge you for it. I am trying to remember how many albums you had to buy to fulfill the obligation, but the initial 12 records plus the monthly selections certainly created my initial collection. I often didn't know anything about the artists; I just picked random albums. One example is Every Picture Tells A Story, by Rod Stewart. And that's how I discovered Maggie May.

I will never understand why the song so impacted a twelve-year-old girl. For some reason, the verse:

“The morning sun when it's in your face

Really shows your age.

But that don't worry me none, in my eyes you're everything”

has stuck with me my entire life. I didn't know anything about aging biases, a focus on staying young, or if I even truly understood what it meant by the morning sun showing your age. I just know the words made me uncomfortable and sad.

It wasn't until a few years later that I realized the song was about a young man having an affair with an older woman. This was not a happy or fulfilling relationship for the young man:

"You led me away from home
'Cause you didn't want to be alone
You stole my soul , and that's a pain I can do without."

Later, as an adult, I realized the May/December relationships portrayed in movies and TV were very one-sided. However, the changing narratives in recent films, which are more balanced and realistic, give hope for a more nuanced portrayal of age-gap relationships in the future. Older women with younger men's stories usually revolved around the trope of a wealthy older woman and a young man pretending to love her but really trying to steal her fortune. Or marry her for her money. Older actors paired with younger women? Totally normal. Young women falling in love with older men? No one blinks an eye. It must be true love.

Remember the movie As Good As It Gets? 60-year-old Jack Nicholson dated 34-year-old Helen Hunt, and the filmmakers didn't feel they needed to explain the age discrepancy. Here are a few other examples of films pairing older actors with much younger actresses:

Sabrina- Harrison Ford was 52, Julia Ormond, 30

A Perfect Murder- Michael Douglas 54, Gwyneth Paltrow 26

Something's Gotta Give- Jack Nicholsen 66, Amanda Peet 31

Shopgirl- Steve Martin 59, Claire Danes 26

Elegy- Ben Kingsley 64, Penelope Cruz 34

Crazy Heart- Jeff Bridges 60, Maggie Gyllenhaal 31

Stone- Robert De Niro 67, Milla Jovovich 35

I had a bad cold a few weeks ago, and then my dog, Jasper, needed surgery and needed to stay home and rest for 14 days. I have been virtually housebound, as he could not be left alone. So, I have been streaming much more than usual. It has been interesting to note the 2024 trend of love story movies featuring older Hollywood actresses paired with younger actors.

Decider writes:

"Age gap romances are hot right now. Specifically, age-gap romance movies starring an older, established Hollywood actress and a younger, hunky man. In the past six months, no less than three movies like this have been released via streaming: Anne Hathaway's The Idea of You, Nicole Kidman's A Family Affair, and, most recently, Laura Dern's Lonely Planet."

This trend has coined the phrase "the cougar cinematic universe." (Of course, older women interested in younger men must have a name...cougar! What are men called in the reverse situation?)

The movies each have a similar theme. The Idea of You stars divorced Anne Hathaway (41), who takes her 16-year-old daughter to see her favorite band. (A boy band!) Through a not-to-believed sequence, Hathaway meets the band's lead singer, who immediately falls in love with her. The singer, played by Nicholas Galitzine, is supposed to be 24 years old. (The actor is 29 years old in real life.) I won't go into the details of the film, just know that the premise is everyone in her life thinks she is too old for him, she is confused, he persists, love wins. (Prime Video)

A Family Affair stars Nicole Kidman (57) and Zac Efron (36). You can read about the plot here; for now, just know it is another older woman/younger man love story. (Netflix)

Lastly, there is Lonely Planet, starring Laura Dern (57) and Liam Hemsworth (34). ANOTHER romance starring an older woman and a younger man. (Netflix)

My post today is not really about these three movies. Are they important cinematic events with great acting? No! As my friend Lily would say, they are like warm baths...comforting and relaxing...perfect for those days when I was sick on the couch with a headache, stuffy nose, and non-stop coughing or when I needed to keep one eye on the screen, the other on my sick dog. I didn't need to concentrate. However, the fact that they star three Academy Award-winning actresses and younger actors like Zac Efron and Liam Hemsworth is huge. Fifty million viewers watched The Idea Of You in the first two weeks after its release.

The idea that older women (am I really calling Anne Hathaway OLD?) can be vibrant, beautiful, and sexy and that their stories resonate with the public is so gratifying. As a woman who is not in her twenties (or her thirties, forties, or fifties!) anymore, it's empowering to see these narratives gaining traction. Hollywood (or at least the streaming services) is taking note and giving the people what they want. The men in these movies truly love the older women. They are not looking to take advantage. They find the women beautiful, intelligent, interesting, and sexy. Middle-aged and beyond? We are still here!

In a previous interview with Decider, director Richard LaGravenese said that while he hadn't known about the Hathaway film when he was filming A Family Affair, he agreed that his movie was "in sync with a cultural wave" of movies about women finding romance later in life with younger men—and proud to be a part of it.
"It's about time," LaGravenese told Decider. "In the old Hollywood days, there were a lot of [films] where actresses like Joan Crawford had romances with much younger men. There's Sunset Boulevard, which is about a 50-year-old and a 30-year-old. It just feels to me like it should never be an issue to begin with. So I'm glad everybody's going, 'Oh, this is great, and this is sexy, and this is absolutely right.'" (Decider, Oct 15, 2024)

The latest offering in this genre is Netflix's Inganno (Italian), aka Deceitful Love, starring Monica Guerritore and Grey’s Anatomy alum Giacomo Gianniotti . I haven't watched this one, but Nexflix's overview is:

"Months before her son winds up blocking all her credit cards in order to protect her from potential fraud, Gabriella (Guerritore) is celebrating her 60th birthday at the hotel she owns on Italy's Amalfi Coast. That day, she notices a handsome man in his 30s diving into the water. She can't keep her eyes off him. The two finally meet when his car breaks down near the hotel. His name is Elia (Gianniotti), and the two have an instant attraction, despite their age gap. Their love blooms, but this raises her children's — and her ex-husband's — suspicions about the mysterious Elia. Is he a con man taking advantage of a vulnerable divorcée? Or is this true love? "

Hmm..another story about a wealthy older woman and a con man? Eek! I think I will skip this one. Although, at least this one stars a 60-something woman with a 30-something man. The plot states a 60-year-old woman. The actress in the role, Monica Guerritore, is actually 66. So there is that.

The movies I referenced earlier with the older actors and younger actresses were not necessarily about May/December romances. They just cast older stars with younger women and expected the audience to believe they were close in age. I have read that many of the aging actors refused to be paired with actresses their age. Vanity much? The film’s plots didn't even mention the age differences in many cases. Will the same thing apply to older actresses one day? Does it matter? Personally, I love movies in which older actors in a love story are close in age. Movies like The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, Mamma Mia, Our Souls At Night, or On Golden Pond.

What do you think? What movies would you add to the list? And do you like the idea of May/December movie romances with women taking the lead? This may not be the most critical issue of our time, but I will take equal rights wherever and whenever possible.

Romance in middle-age and beyond? There is hope! Please tell me what you think.

Leaving Middle Age

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