Putting Down My Phone

Why the most important thing on my calendar is simply being present

Photo by Quino Al on Unsplash

We are family
I got all my sisters with me-Sister Sledge

Are you able to be fully present with the people you love?

No screen interruptions. No half-listening while checking a text. No mentally running through your to-do list while someone is telling you a story.

Just...being there.

I will be on vacation for the next two weeks, spending time with my family. We will have a 97-year-old, a one-year-old, and every age group in between together from the time we wake up until we go to sleep, and I absolutely cannot wait.

I not only want to be with my family, I need to.

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about what that really means.

Last month, I finished watching Taylor Sheridan’s The Madison. I won’t spoil it for anyone who hasn’t seen it, but I will say this: it reminded me, over and over again, how fragile and precious life really is. I found myself crying not only because of what happened on the screen, but because it kept nudging me toward the same simple truth.

The people sitting across the table from us matter more than whatever is happening on our phones.

The conversations we almost miss because we’re distracted matter.

The ordinary moments that don’t seem important at the time often become the ones we remember most.

So over the next two weeks, I plan to lean into those ordinary moments.

We’ll eat long family meals. We’ll take walks. We’ll laugh. We’ll tell stories we’ve all heard before and somehow still find funny. We’ll catch up on each other’s lives. We’ll sit together doing absolutely nothing important.

And I know how fortunate I am.

Not everyone gets this kind of time with the people they love. Not everyone still has a 97-year-old parent to hug or a one-year-old to chase around the room. I don’t take that for granted.

One of the greatest lessons aging continues to teach me is that very few things deserve to come before the people we love. (Does anything?) I still need that reminder. Maybe I always will.

So, I’m putting those words into practice.

There won’t be any completely new Substack posts for the next two Saturdays. But for my Saturday morning coffee readers, there will still be something waiting for you.

One of the unexpected joys of writing every week for the past three years is discovering that my opinions haven’t stayed exactly the same. I hope they never do.

Every once in a while, I’ll reread one of my earliest posts and think, Hmm...I’m not sure I’d say that quite that way today.

And I love that.

It means I’m still learning.

So while I’m away, I’m revisiting two posts from the early days of Leaving Middle Age. I’m making only light edits, but I’ll also share where my thinking has evolved and what life has taught me since I first wrote them.

For those of you who have been with me from the beginning, I’d love to know if your thinking has changed too.

And for those of you who joined us more recently, I’m curious to hear what you think about those early essays through fresh eyes.

One of the things I treasure most about this community is that we don’t just read…we learn from one another. So while I’m away, keep the conversation going. Tell me what resonates. Tell me where you disagree. Tell each other your stories.

When I get home…with a full heart and probably far too many family photos…I can’t wait to sit down with my coffee and read every single comment.

Have a wonderful couple of weeks, everyone.

I hope you find time to put down your phone, look across the table at someone you love, and simply be there.

See you soon.

Peace + Clarity

Much love!

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