Should I stay, or should I go now?
Should I stay, or should I go now?
If I go, there will be trouble
And if I stay, it will be double
So come on and let me know. Should I stay or should I go?-The Clash
I’ve just returned from two glorious weeks of vacation. It was one of those rare, magical getaways where everything goes right: flights on time, planes only half full, perfect weather, no lost luggage, and—most importantly—family gatherings filled with love, laughter, great food, and memories I’ll treasure forever. Such a gift.
I spent the time in Southern California, the place where I was born and raised. As I’ve shared before, the beach is my zen zone. It’s where I feel most at peace and most like myself. And while I was there, a question kept popping into my mind: Why don’t I live here? What’s stopping me?
The honest answer? I truly love where I live now—in my small, artsy town in northern New Mexico. I love my home, my friends, my routines. But vacation often reveals blind spots. And I began to wonder: Can I stay here forever? Should I?
Of course, vacation isn’t real life. It’s free of obligations—no bills to pay, no plumbing issues, no schedules to juggle or client calls to manage. (Though if any of my clients are reading this, you know I love our Zoom calls!) Still, as I relaxed into the beach rhythm, I began to reflect on the long-term logistics of where I live.
Right now, I’m doing just fine. But what about five or ten years from now?
I live nearly three hours from the closest major city and the hub for hospitals, specialists, and the nearest major airport. Getting there means driving through a mountain pass that can be treacherous in the winter. I’ve watched friends in their 70s and 80s make that drive weekly for medical appointments. It’s not something I want to face lightly.
So the question hangs in the air: Will I be able to stay here forever? And if not… where would I go?
How Uncommon Is This?
Turns out, many people our age are asking the same questions. A 2022 AARP survey found that while nearly 40% of adults over 50 consider moving as they age, only around 17% actually do. But what about folks in remote areas like mine?
For adults aged 65+ in rural regions, around 6.2% moved in a single year .
Over a decade, roughly 30–33% relocated, and those in rural or deprived areas were more likely to move than urban dwellers .
One study showed rural seniors move when maintaining large properties becomes tough, or when access to essentials—healthcare, shops, transit—declines.
So if you live remotely, especially far from clinics or airports, the chance you’ll actually move as you age is closer to one-third over ten years—not just 17%.
Why Do People Move?
Common reasons include:
Healthcare access – 30 million Americans live over an hour from trauma care.
Transportation barriers – no public transit, long drives, limited rideshare.
Home accessibility issues – difficult terrain, multi-level homes without accessibility features. (I live in a historic adobe home-where every room is either a small step up or down!)
Isolation – fewer services, fewer social options, and thinning support networks.
The Emotional Side
Emotionally, leaving a long-loved home is intense:
Stress, anxiety, grief often increase during and after moving, especially if it’s forced (health crises, loss).
But if the move is chosen proactively, many feel empowered, less isolated, and more engaged.
Rural dwellers sometimes experience relief after relocating closer to services, even crediting it with preserving wellness longer.
“Home is behind, the world ahead.”
— from The Hobbit (Peter Jackson’s film)I chose this because moving later in life can feel like stepping into the unknown—leaving comfort behind, while readying for new adventures.
For now, I’m staying put. I cherish life here. Yet the clock ticks. I need to keep asking: Is this still sustainable? Will it be in five, ten years? Ignoring those questions might cost me more than I realize.
Some days I want to bury my head in the sand. (Some days I actually do—especially at the beach.) But the older I get, the more I realize that asking the hard questions—even without having answers—is a kind of courage, too.
What About You?
Is your home your forever home—or might you need to plan for something different?
If you're remote now, how do you feel about long drives for medical care or travel?
Could accessibility upgrades, telehealth, or community services extend your stay?
Or is there another place calling you—closer to family, better transit, or just flatter ground or a lower altitude?
Let’s talk about the real challenges—and hidden joys—of this stage in life’s journey. Let’s start a conversation about the next (and possibly last) big move of our lives. I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Much love!
Thanks for stopping by Leaving Middle Age! If you found this interesting, please share it with friends, family, or anyone who’d appreciate the journey.
Hi Diane!
I think access to resources is a big part of this decision. Money can smooth over medical distance (a little, depending on the issues) I have Taos friends in their later years who have bought into an ABQ retirement community so that if one of them needs care in the future, they will have a place all set up and ready to go.
My grandparents moved from ABQ to Taos for their final years to be near 2 of their children. As they declined, managing their health became difficult, even with a full time daytime caregiver.
My other grandparents lived in Santa Barbara and had an easier last years transition as they were in their familiar home and near family and friends who’d known them for many, many years.
Best of luck with your decision!
As a side note - growing up in Taos, I always fantasized that the thing that would make it more ideal, was ocean access ; )
I'm not leaving this small, artsy town in northern New Mexico until they carry me out feet first.