When We Assume...

We know how this ends

Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

So if I vent to you, tell me can you see yourself making assumptions (making assumptions)?-Dizzy Wright

I am often asked where I get the ideas for my weekly posts. Honestly, while I do keep a list of potential topics, I most often write about something that happened during the current week. It’s funny how authoring Leaving Middle Age has me noticing the weird, sometimes horrible, but most often great events that happen during this journey to and through “old” age. And sometimes, I have a preconceived notion about where an article is going to go…I “assume,” and then discover I am completely wrong.

This week is a perfect example.

I have been on call for jury duty for the past two months. New Mexico has a smaller population than larger states, so we serve longer terms to ensure there are enough people to fill the jury pools. My term runs from March 2nd to May 31st. A logistical pain…not because I don’t want to serve…I do, and I believe it is my civic duty, but because for three months I can’t make future plans. I have to log in every Friday after 5 p.m. to get my schedule for the following week. And until this week, I had not been called.

So, for the past few months, I had a rough idea for a post about jury duty and older, retired people. I did a ton of research to support my assumption that older people are often overrepresented in jury pools because they are more likely to be retired, offering the free time that working-age individuals lack, and because many view jury service as an important civic duty. Additionally, many older Americans are selected simply because jury panels are chosen through random, automated methods, and our overall population is aging.

I drafted an outline for the post and was simply waiting to be called so I could insert my real-life experience. I actually had most of the article written and went bright-eyed and willing at 8:15 AM Tuesday morning, expecting to join a large group of mostly gray hairs ready to do our duty.

Except…that’s not what happened.

In reality, I was probably the oldest person in the group. And my other assumption, that “younger” people would try anything to be dismissed, was also completely false.

I am so pleased to report that the 40 or so prospective jurors were engaged, focused, and seemed to take their responsibilities very seriously. Voir dire, or jury selection, took almost three hours, and this was Magistrate Court! Until this summons, I didn’t even know Magistrate Court had jury trials. (Apparently, this differs by state.) I have since learned that these courts handle non-felonies, or determine whether felony charges, like murder, will be sent to District Court.

Our case involved a misdemeanor DUI charge. I don’t know all the details; I wasn’t selected as a juror, but I was fascinated by how detailed the questioning process was. I was even more impressed by the answers my fellow jurors gave to questions like: “What does innocent until proven guilty mean to you?” “What does beyond a reasonable doubt mean to you?” and “How important is it to you to serve on a jury?”

There were also many questions about our feelings regarding driving under the influence, breaking the law for “minor” infractions, and personal responsibility. Every single person gave thoughtful, seemingly heartfelt answers. Not one person tried to get out of serving. No one used work, childcare, or any other excuse. It made me proud of my fellow Americans, as corny as that may sound.

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Photo by Markus Winkler on Unsplash

So my premise for today’s Substack turned out to be completely different from what I had planned. The experience reminded me of the importance of staying open to new ideas as I age. Of working hard not to become a “know-it-all” and forgetting how much I still need to learn.

What stayed with me most after that morning wasn’t the case itself. It was the reminder that assumptions harden with age if we let them. We start believing we already know how people are, how situations will unfold, what younger generations think, or how the world works. And honestly, that kind of certainty can make us smaller.

I walked into jury duty convinced I already knew the story.

I was wrong. Happily wrong.

And honestly, I’m curious now how many other assumptions I carry around without even realizing it. The older I get, the more I see how easy it is to internally decide we already understand people…especially people younger than us.

Have you ever had an experience that completely changed your assumptions about another generation or about aging itself? I’d genuinely love to hear about it in the comments.

The experience reminded me that one of the most important things I can do as I get older is to stay teachable. I want to keep learning new things, even when they frustrate me. Especially technology. I want to keep reading, asking questions, trying hobbies that make me uncomfortable, and having conversations with people much younger than I am instead of assuming we have nothing in common. I want to challenge my brain instead of protecting myself by sticking to routines that feel safe and familiar.

Because maybe aging well is less about “staying young” and more about staying curious.

And maybe the real danger isn’t getting older at all.

Maybe it’s deciding we already know everything worth knowing.

Thoughts?

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Peace + Clarity

Much love!

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