In my quest to define an acceptable term for those of us either close to leaving middle age or already there, I researched synonyms for the word “midlife.” After all, some of us use midlife instead of, or in addition to, middle age. Here is what appeared:
adulthood maturity middle age
ripeness autumn majority
winter afternoon middle
evening afterlife sunset
senility twilight dotage
anecdotage seniority elderliness
golden years oldness
This list underscores the issue I'm addressing in this newsletter. There's a glaring absence of an acceptable, meaningful, or appropriate term for the 66- to 80-year-old age group. Take another look at that list. "Afterlife" implies death. "Senility" refers to the weaknesses or diseases of old age, particularly a loss of mental faculties.1
Maybe the worst one…“Dotage”.
The period of life in which a person is old and weak: “You could live here and look after me in my dotage.”2
Do you see the problem? The prevailing theme is age, specifically very OLD age. This prompts me to consider whether I should focus on creating a new term that more accurately represents this age group or if the aim should be to make the word 'old' more acceptable to everyone. What are your thoughts?
I have been talking to friends and family about Leaving Middle Age and what I want to accomplish. There have been a lot of positive responses. For example, one of my sisters texted:
"I think it's a subject many people can relate to. I know it does with me. My friends and I discuss this all the time. We are so tired of seeing commercials for phones, computers, or whatever on TV talking about old people, but then they show the person, and they look like they are maybe 60 at the most! It's like, seriously, someone who is 60 years old knows how to use a cell phone and doesn't need the "easy to use" basic Jitterbug!!"
Hahaha...I know what she means. I cannot tell you how often I have read a book lately that described a character as fragile, weak, unsteady on their feet, or needing help with walking, only to have the age revealed as 62!!! I am not talking about people who are sick or have a disease. That is an entirely different set of circumstances. But, for everyone else, it's not even close. Most of my family and friends in the 60-plus age group are active, healthy, vibrant, curious, and healthy.
I use the high school reunion dichotomy to explain my point. Have you attended your 30th, 40th, 50th, or beyond high school reunion? Was there a massive difference between your classmates regarding their looks, interests, energy levels, and outlook on life? Have you ever wondered why some have aged well and others have not?
We are all aging—every day, we are older than the day before. Getting older isn't the issue; what interests me is how well we age.
I will explore this topic in greater detail in upcoming posts. I have a list of people I admire who have left middle age and are some of the most active, healthy, and creative people I know. They are aging gracefully. What makes them tick? I can't wait to interview them and share their thoughts, ideas, and experiences with you. Until then, I will leave you with this quote from Andie McDowell, who will turn 66 in April of this year:
"It's definitely the small things. It's not about superficial things," says MacDowell. "I think that really gets ground into you. It's the moments, and being present." The idea of living in the moment "starts to become a power — like a superpower — as you get older," she adds. "That you're not caught up in superficial things."
Thank you for visiting!
See you next week,
Diane
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Interesting that wikipedia never mentions being wiser, more resilient, more reliable, steadier, more solid and dependable, with valuable experience, as some employers have learned the hard way. I know little about the internet, but I know most of the people who know how to add to some unreliable source like wikipedia (isn't it subject to modification by anyone?) are young. This culture we live in doesn't value experience and wisdom. Young is the golden calf. And young is sometimes too arrogant to know when there is still sooooo much to learn. Of course there are people even from 45-80! who have no wisdom. Each person is different; ages differently, enjoys life differently. People with interests are interesting no matter their chronological age. Norman Lear (remember him-All in the Family, etc?) just recently died at 101! And was still creating new shows. Dan Rather 92, former news anchor, writes a fantastic Substack (subscribe) called Steady every day, and an especially inspiring one called "Reason to Smile" on Saturdays. Dolly Parton was his last column-she is in her 70's and going strong and changing people's lives. Trite as it is used- you truly are as young and you feel. Just don't let a couple of digits get you down.